Musings from January – 16.01.21

Sailboat Cross Stitch kit from years and years ago

Hello. I’m still here.

I haven’t written anything since May last year and I hate that. But I’m still here, riding out the pandemic like we all are. There’s lots I want to write about; getting chickens, new projects, moving house, but I’ve been struggling with where to start. There’s so much in my head and so many thoughts (I’m a highly proficient over thinker) and I’ve not been able to organise any of them. 

Maybe because it’s the beginning of a new year, or my sister encouraging me to start, here is my first attempt at writing this year. Clears throat… (not covid – just emphasis)

I’m a perfectionist. And I struggle with creativity. I sometimes worry about what I’m doing so much that I get paralysed and can’t do anything. Sounds easy to manage maybe, but if you could open a window into my mind you’d see a giant spiders web of information that is tangled inside. I often have ideas and struggle to get them into a practical format, or even what tail end of thoughts I can use to start the idea. I can’t figure out what ideas are connected, how or where they meet and if they’re relevant. The thought of writing essays still makes my heart plummet into my colon. I wish exams at school required short statement answers rather than long composed coherent explanations. My answers tended to tail off exponentially. When I read my writing back to myself it reads like a word sneeze; one explosion and words scatter all over the page. Nice, huh? I’ll leave you with that little image.

Since Christmas

I’ve been entertaining myself by cross stitching. It’s a relaxing activity to pick up and put down during the day. I like doing them whilst watching films. Here are my recent creations.

Henry and I decided to watch all the Bond films in chronological order. We’ve just watched number 20, one of my all time favourites, Die Another Day. I love the Pierce Brosnan era and this was the first one I saw at the cinema. I think this film is a love/hate thing as Henry has almost no time for it.

Watching it again I appreciate the glaring issues of the invisible car and the DNA Replacement Therapy!! But for me it’s exciting and dramatic and suspenseful and nostalgic of being young and unaware of the need for feminism. The good guys win and save the day. Hurrah, that’s my kind of film.  

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